Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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