I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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