Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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