Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
