all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
