I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
