I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
