Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
soo... how was my night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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