So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
