I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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