You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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