Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
