I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
