Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize