I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
