absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
