your room smells of hookers.
And success
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
