He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
