so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
