I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
