everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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