It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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