i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
