I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
