If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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