shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize