there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
