shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
