; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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