I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I will pee on everything he values.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
