Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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