Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The air was thick with penises
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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