for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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