I hate your face
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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