Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
