Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
