ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
