batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Boobs speak an international language.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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