Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
