no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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