Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
