i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize