are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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