You really coming over, don't trick.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
