I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
