Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
