I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize