all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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