Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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