Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
