Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
