How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
