Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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