Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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