fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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