these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
