I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
