is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize