The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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