I think I am morally bankrupt
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
