is your mom at the bar?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
