Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
