So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
