my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
