Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
