I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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