Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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