I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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