i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
