so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
