WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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