if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
